Why

Why do you always smile?
A one in a million question
One that questions me more than my action
As if happiness were a sin
Perhaps lying is
The smile born of nerves
A forced muscle grown with time
Signaling nothing but I mean no harm
Move, there is nothing to see here

Why do you always smile?
Perhaps I've always been a broken record
But should one not smile?
Happiness is light on the surface
I embrace it when it visits
And yes, there is a masking effect too
One built from deep sadness and self doubt
I smile because I'm nervous and need a way out.

Why are you always so quiet?
As if silence were a monster
My patience on solid ground unnerves you
I've heard the sound of my voice,
It is beautiful
Most days pummeled by unkind thoughts
Forcing it to the ground
And silence is not discomfort
Rather quiet honest acceptance of myself

Why are you always so quiet? You ask
Because I know I have the strength to be loud.